they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
