At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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