she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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