Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize