If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
