new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I need to wash the frat house off of me
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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