it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
