I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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