it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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