I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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