1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
