You're completely useless in the revolution.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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