i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
