As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
