you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
