can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
