just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
