Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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