I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
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i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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