i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much Jack, so little girl.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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