There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
