Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
