Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
