omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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