have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He did a backflip because drugs
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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