I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
