I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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