Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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