My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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