You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
