Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
