It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
