the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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