We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize