I feel great
I just peed on a car
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
