Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
