I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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