I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
they need to just BURY HIM!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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