Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
He has the fingertips of a God
I did not marry a roomba.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
