i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
