Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
