Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
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The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
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I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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