I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
