Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
