i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
