how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
