I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
