I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
