Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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