i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
