at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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