If that was your dad, he is hot
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
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When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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