So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
