Where are you?
In a non slutty way
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
