I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
They took my balls.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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