I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
