It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
