Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.

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(443): View more from Maryland

He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid

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(819): View more from Quebec

He was spoon feeding me wine all night.

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(614): View more from Ohio

she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I've peed outside too many times in just this past week

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(503): View more from Oregon

So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.

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